Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Double duty Portable GreenHouse n Solar Drying House

This is amazing, my old man constructed this.  First it was a created to hold a big square water container on top. Then he decided he would create a backyard tree house out of it for our grandkids.  Well spring planting time came and he incased it in plastic sheets and bent small pvc pipe on the top to create a dome. We have started all of seeds in it and it works great.  It is very easy to move around the yard for mowing or better lite. Next he is going to hang screens inside it and create a vegy solar drying house.  He needs to patent this, it is so versatile.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

After Breast Cancer - 6 months out.. Trying to adjust - GRIEF

Life is different now.  I lived thru the treatment - barely....   Stay strong! - they say ... and .. Be positive.. You'll be Ok.  That's what they say all the way thru it.  I am glad they do, however it still irritates me. " Come inside and see what it feels like " that's what I wanna say.  

I have many complications from the treatment.  Enough so that I am now disabled.  GRIEF that's what  I wanna talk about.  I am full of GRIEF.  Its not mad or sad actually .. its much deeper,, not depressed either.  I miss me.  I miss the me before all this.   I miss the pretty me.  I miss the well me.   had some chest pains and a small lump.  Actually thought I pulled a muscle from workin on our lil mini farm.  Bags of feed, pullin weeds , keepin house etc..  NOPE not even close sweetie pie..   So I will talk about the journey thru it later, cause now I need to understand my grief.  Ya need to talk about it to understand it, so i'm talkin . 

I grieve for my family, they aren't the same either.  they all seem farther away now.  I am farther away.  I don't know who this person is .. when I look in the mirror .. I went from 0 to 60 in 2.5 sec.  No kidding.  I now have a full head of gray hair and hands of a 90 yr old.   I have a prednisone round head and humpty dumpty figure.  THIS IS NOT MY HEAD nor my boob,.  I miss my old head, I liked it , I had it for 50 years and its gone ... OH also lost my front teeth, Yep they just up and died.  See ya!  Kinda like my energy, I just have buckets, yep buckets and they don't fill up very fast at all - two to three buckets a day and you have had a Great day.

Grief, Goodness grief, for heavens sake and all that.   I probably sound mad, but I'm grieving really and grief hurts.  I grieve for that whole year that is such a blurr,  I was there, I felt every second of it, " Oh if it didn't kill ya ... It'll make ya stronger " REally!  didn't work for me.  I was strong before this ,    Gosh I miss my ability to type better. I was great .  I miss me.  I am now breast cancer me.  And ya know what, people actually look right at your breasts once they know,  my eyes disappeared .  I miss that too.  I miss - Hey, Nice to see ya.    Now I get  - Hey, how ya feelin.  I miss that too. I miss my clothes that I don't fit into any more 

I miss sleep, .... it just don't last.  Short sleeps in a row!  Am I on watch for the cancer monster or something that I cant sleep all the way thru the night.  I miss that.   I had a Lumpectomy - 3 times, I am grateful for saving it ... however, I do have one good one and one flat tire.  I miss that. 

I miss my ability to deal with rude people or ones with no common sense.   But, really what makes me so sensible?  I have absolutely no idea, however, these people can trip my trigger in an instant.  I even tell people out loud now , " Hey that was rude!"  I wanna shut up, I don't want it to bother me, I miss that.  Maybe it's cause ... they need to be told, if enough people tell them maybe they will go AHA.   maybe not.    Its because there just aint no need for it.  That's why its irritating,  Life is about being happy  . that's one of the goals.  So everyone should be mindful of that when in public.

 I miss workin, just got my degree and 3 months later CANCER - I miss my ability to use my degree in Behavorial Science family advocate.  That was my goal.  Even specialized my own degree and yeeha - Cant do now, -  I miss that.  I miss even more - but I feel a lil better now, I am recognizing how many grief spots I have.  I have a bucket full of grief - But I am going to pick up each lil ball of grief and name  it, embrass it , and try to deal with it.  AND stop putting more in the bucket...

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Strange cabbage recipes and an easy dress to sew

Easy dress ideas
Very easy summer dress follow the link I will post a pick when I make it


Fabulous Cabbage dishes - wonderful new ideas to try

Here are some fabulous recipes that I found on a Russian website. I can't wait to try them, they are healthy and I have never heard of them before.  The following one is made of Kohlrabi.  I have never cooked it but grow a lot of it. 


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These are called cabbage fritters.  Kinda strange but intriguing. Cabbage is a huge cancer fighter, anti inflammatory and so much more - we all need to eat a lot of it.


This is cabbage and cheese in a sorta tart . I think it looks yummy

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Rheumatoid Arthritis after Breast Cancer OUCH more?

Been awhile, been dealin with the aftermath of Breast cancer treatments.  6 months out now.  They say they got it all and sorry your body took it so hard.  I am left with Rheumatoid Arthritis and a several other conditions.  The arthritis has really flared the last month.  It mainly my hands right now,  ......

I have been on the elimination diet now for 2 months and have found that nightshade vegys really bother me..  I have to try introducing them again to make sure that is truly what made me ache all over the next day.  Of course, I don't want to experience the pain and awful day of hardly being able to move.  But one must be sure , especially cause I love tomatoes, and a bowl of mild chili sent me into a flair - a bad one. 

Oh, Eggs also, whew that really hurts, since I have a few pet chickens, it's amazing how I used to eat eggs everyother day.  I eliminated them for 6 weeks , then had a big breakfast and whew I can't believe how awful I felt.  I'm gonna miss them eggs.  I just give them away now, but I still love my chickens.   Here is their coop.

Here is a pic of my rheumi hands,  I usually have skinny fingers. 
During my last phases of Chemo, my head and arms swelled up.  They kinda thought it was water retention and a bit normal but usually happens in the lower half of the body.  Here it was inflammation my CRP was off the charts. That's how this all began.  I will blog more about my Breast cancer journey a little here and there,  even being on the other side for 6 months now, the subject is still tender and emotional.